:: a matter of perspective ::

So, I have some explaining to do because I have been silent for far too long. 

Like many creative people, I tend to expect a lot out of myself, which leads to working way too many hours and ignoring other things that really need to be done.  Like cleaning the house.  And doing the laundry.  Or writing a blog.  And I know that I can ignore those things for only so long before they too start to become another source of stress. Funny how that works.

And my way of dealing with it?  Go into hiding.  Or more specifically, become silent.

But because I have had several people ask where I've been, I guess it's time to come out and explain myself.  And in order to do that, I need to back up to October, when you last heard from me.

As I was frantically getting ready to leave for Quilt Market, my family got some shocking news..... that my younger brother was diagnosed with cancer.  And as you can imagine (or maybe relate to), this was very difficult to absorb.  Tad (my brother) got the news on a Friday that he had cancer, had surgery the following Monday, and started chemo two days later on Wednesday, which was the day that we left for Houston.

So picture this..... I am leaving as Tad (who incidentally lives just down the road from me) is starting treatments, I'm not at all prepared for market, going without my book being done, having planned my booth just two days before and feeling as if a blurry haze had fallen over me.  Not a pretty picture.  So if you saw me at market and wondered where my head was, I can tell you now that it was NOT there.

So, where have I been?  I have been here. 

Spending some time with my sister, who I don't see often enough.  Making trips with my brother to chemo.  Enjoying the time with my kids while they were home from college for the holidays.  Going out dancing with my husband on Friday nights.  And yes, still working on my book and projects.  Basically trying to find a healthier balance in my life, which is not an easy task for me.  But what I remind myself every day is that it's all a matter of perspective. 

I'm still here. 

My brother is still here after 14 weeks and 26 infusions. 

My book is almost done.

And we have another day to live. 

I am blessed. 

Tad, looking good with no hair!

My sister and I with Tad..... all smiling!

Having some fun with family!

 

Now, I can't make any promises, but I am going to do my best to keep you more informed.  There are a lot of other things that have been going on here that I hope to share with you.  I just need to get it through my head that my blog posts don't all have to be a magnificent work of words, and my facebook doesn't have to be all about my work.  Again, it's that perspective thing.

Oh yes, and about that book.....

I hope to have it to the printer next week, so be watching for it!  I'll be posting pictures of the projects here and on my facebook page, so be looking for it sometime next week! 

Thanks for hangin' with me!

 

Comments

[Vivian Simons]

Happy New Year Terri, I'm Keeping ALL of YOU in my Thoughts & Prayers!!! Sending Lot's of Sugar YOUR Way!!! XOXOX, V. Simons

[Christine B.]

Hi Terri, that must have been a tough time for you and I hope that your brother is through the worst and making good progress. Looking forward to seeing the projects from the new book! Take care, Christine

[Vicki]

It sounds like you had your priorities in the right order, I'm sure as always the show will go fine and the book (which I'm anxious to have) will get done. Good luck to your bother.

[Kathy]

Prayers to your brother and family. Family should Always come first and you are right it surely puts perspective on things. Wishing you all the best this year.

[Becky]

All the right choices to make! God bless you and your family. He will never leave you or forsake you!

[Colleen]

Terri, you should never feel bad about doing the right thing. We will always be here and when you make something beautiful and new, we will all enjoy it. Family always comes first! I wish you and your brother all the best and I will pray for him.

On a lighter note, as my daughter searched through my patterns and stash for a wedding quilt, as she pulled out each of your books I have, she fell in love... everytime she has chosen a project for me to teach her or make for her, they are ALWAYS yours :o)

[Debbie St. Germain]

I am glad to hear what you have been up to and that your brother is doing well with his treatments. Family is important and the rest of life can wait, it is wonderful that you are all there for him.

Your book cover has me intrigued, can't wait to see the projects.

Debbie

[Linda]

I'm in love with the spools already. So sorry to hear about your brother but your report sounds positive, and having family together can be healing itself. Looking forward to project photos and updates from you when possible. Take care.

[Amy C]

So sorry to hear about your brother's diagnosis. I know those treatments can be rough. It sounds like his treatments are going well. Good that your family can be together through this process. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

[Tara L Darr]

Sending you a little love my quiltie friend! Stay strong~! ((((HUG))))

[Leeanne]

Hugs to you and your family, take care.

[Sue]

I'm sorry to hear about your brother and I will pray for a full and quick recovery for him.

Our blogs are here when we have time for them, but family is always, always more important :)

With thoughts of blessing for you and your family,
Sue

[Laila Skauge]

Sending you some warm thoughts from over the big pond. Hope your brother will recover soon, and you'll get time to be creative when he does :o)
Love the new fabrics from you, and look forward to get them as soon as they hit the shops :o)
Take care!
Laila

[Anne Sutton]

Hi Terri, Just happened to blog hop over and read your post...touched me a lot. So glad to hear your brother is doing better. How we all struggle with balance in our lives. It's never easy and somehow business has a way of taking over. I'm so glad you took some time for your family and to regroup. I'll see you at market.

[Pat]

Terri, Keeping you and your family in my prayers. Glad your brother is doing well. Also glad you are back. God works in strange ways. Looking forward to your book.

[Darlene B]

Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family. No worries about not blogging, because no matter what, FAMILY FIRST!!! So glad that your brother is doing well. Thanks for sharing this story.

[Tricia in OK]

I have wanted to email you several times just to see if all was ok but, then I thought that's crazy, you are such a busy lady. I so know what you and your family is going through as I have been through all the chemo and radiation for breast cancer. Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family! Tell your brother all my doctors said the number one thing is to believe and keep a positive attitude and that's half the battle. We love you Terri! Thank you so much for sharing!

[Erica]

Life can be rather cruel & it's difficult to understand the why of things sometimes! Just know that so many people are sending prayers & well wishes your way for you & your brother & all your family! As you say, it sometimes takes these occurances to open our eyes to what is important in life. Thanks for keeping in touch with us during this time!

[Margaret Witt]

Family is so precious. My son-in-law was dianosed with non Hodkins lymphoma and we were all devasted like you. He is doing well not after chemo,radiation and continues with chemo every other month for 2 years. They finally got disability after 18 months and we are praising God for this. He still has fluid in lungs but he is remarkable. He had 3 tumors.They do not live too close and it has been hard but just keeping those we love close as we can and supporting them is all that matters. In the meantime my son's wife informed him that she wanted out of their 3 year marriage which ripped his heart out.My heart hurts for him each day. God is holding us all in His hand right now and we are still praising Him for I know better days are coming. Take care
Maggey

[Terri Degenkolb]

My heart hurts for you too..... Thank you so much for sharing with me. Through all of this, I am finding how much it helps to just share and talk with others that are going through tough times as well. I know that God is providing us the strength we need, not only to share our stories, but to be an encouragement to each other as well. You are blessed, Maggey!

[Judith]

Our thoughts are prayers are with Tad and family. All the best with the new book.

[Terri Degenkolb]

Thank you Colleen! You can let your daughter know that she made my day!

[Terri Degenkolb]

Thank you Tricia for your encouragement! It was hard to write this post and share it, but I'm finding what a blessing it has been and ask myself why I didn't do it sooner. To hear stories from others and know that we are not alone makes all the difference!

[Dawn Brewer]

Hi Terri, I don't usually post on blogs, but this one really touched my heart. I have two sisters with cancer (one has colon cancer and one has breast cancer). Neither live close to me and it hurts my heart that I can't be RIGHT there with them. It does help to share with others and the extra prayers even for someone you don't know are so appreciated. Thanks for sharing, and I pray you and your family feel God's loving arms wrapped around you).

[Kayles]

Hi Terri ,
I know the feeling of not being there and finding it hard to get your head out of the haze, my mum (RIP) was diagnosed with bowel cancer and lung cancer, two primary cancers, the bowel when to the liver, the lung went to the brain. She endured 2 and half years before passing, in the time also we lost our father unexpectedly, he went to sleep one night two years ago just before christmas and never woke up. I know they are both together again and both are pain free. And I have been blessed to have had such wonderful parents in my life, my mum is actually my stepmum and she is and will always be the only mum I have. My father technically died 3 times when he had his first heartattack at age 50 yet he continued on for another 23 years before passing peacefully in his sleep. I am still struggling with life, mum passed away 9 months ago, and I don't think we ever really dealt with dad's death as we all had to be strong to help mum with what she was going thru. I am a big believer that God doesn't give to us things we can't handle. To each and everyone who are going thru difficult times healing prayers and thoughts to you all.
Sending you and your family healing thoughts and prayers.

[Nancy]

So sorry about your brother's battle with cancer and all of life's challenges in general. Life certainly knows how to test us sometimes; but we must strive to make the most of each day no matter what. Sounds like you have been doing a great job at that. I envy the dancing with hubby, and often miss it. We used to go out at least once a month years back. Now, hubby is out of work and on disability because of bad legs and I am living with an incurable form of leukemia. As I said before, life must go one!!
Sending a big HUG your way. Looks like you have one fun loving, terrific family in those pictures.
Hang in there! Nancy

[Jo Ann Mullaly]

Terri....Cancer really puts life in perspective and makes you realize what is important. Hugs to you and all your family as you go through this journey. Enjoy each and every day you have and don't borrow sorrow until you need to. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you....Jo Ann

[Leisha Roberts]

Terri, You have a lovely family! Best wishes and will by praying for your brother! As always, I love everything you create and I understand about "taking time to smell the flowers!" You have to take care of yourself before you can benifit anyone else! Take care and will be watching for projects from the new book! With love, Leisha