A Little Honesty...

I have been quiet for far too long.

But it’s been a tough year....

 

My mom had several unexplainable health issues that surfaced over a year ago.  

My husband and I wrestled with a new job opportunity that would make him happier with his work but required us to move away from our roots and all family.  

(We decided to stay where we are.  After all, our youngest son graduates from college in May and still comes home occasionally on the weekends.)

We took a long overseas vacation to visit our oldest son that chose to stay and work in South Korea for at least one more year, if not longer...... I love that he is where he is supposed to be, but struggle with him being so far away.

After being away from Indianapolis for 28 years, my in-laws decided to move back from Tennessee to be near us and two of their other children.....  Much help is needed when living in a house by yourselves at 90 years of age....

Both my sister-in-law and my father-in-law were diagnosed with bladder cancer, and at 90 years of age my father in law has started chemo. 

My mom was diagnosed with a very rare type of lymphoma last September right before our vacation to South Korea.

And after several rounds of chemo, trips to Mayo clinic, and living through hell, my mom passed away 3 weeks ago.

 

This has been so incredibly hard.....

 

I started Whimsicals with my mom and dad 18 years ago.  18 years is a long time to work relentlessly and creatively within an industry such as this.  I couldn’t do it alone. 

So even though mom and dad “retired” from Whimsicals almost 10 years ago, mom continued to be a huge part of it.   She was my sounding board, my cohort, my cheerleader, my fellow "sweat shop worker" as we both sat in my room stitching the day away, and so much more.....

So I will say it again…. this has been hard.  

But I honestly believe that for the past several years, God has been preparing me. Getting me to a place where I could emotionally deal with everything that is going on by slowly making Whimsicals less of a priority and shifting my focus.  I have realized that I want to be here for my family.  No matter what.   

So I made a choice.  I cut back on the energy I put into Whimsicals.  I slowed down.  I put off designing fabric.  I started thinking more about how I wanted to live instead of what I needed to do to stay ahead in the industry.  

In doing so, I was fortunate to be able to take the time needed to go to doctors' visits with mom, to be available when my son would come home for visits, to stay and help mom while dad ran errands, to spend evenings with my husband, to work on a few last minute projects mom was trying to complete to distract her from the hell she was living through, and to spend some very special time with my brother, sister, and dad after mom passed away.  

We talked.  

We laughed.  

We cried.  

And I have been able to breathe and enjoy it.

Has cutting back hurt my business?  Of course.  

But one thing I have come to realize is that nothing remains the same.  In the 18 years that Whimsicals has been around, not only has the quilting industry changed, but I have as well.  I am not the same person I was when I started this business, nor should I be.  My tastes have changed.  My perspective has shifted. And I like to think that I have grown up a little.   Because of that, the thought of continuing down the same path I've been on for the last 18 years is daunting. 

I still have ideas in my head. I still have the same part of me that simply must create.  And I plan to do just that. It's just getting up the courage (and the desire) to pull them out and simply start.  Because although I'm not entirely sure of the path that I am on, I know that I won't find the right one unless I take a step.   

How that relates to Whimsicals and where I will end up is still unclear.    

But what I do know is this....  

I have a great life ahead of me to live with my extraordinary family. 

Every day, I feel more at peace with who I am and what I am doing.

And I'm not alone. 

 

I love you and miss you mom.....

 

{ With mom at Quilt Market ~ May 2004 }

{ Mom in my booth at Quilt Market  ~  May 2012 } 

 

{ Mom at my sewing machine in my "sweat shop" ~ April 25, 2014 }

 

{ A fun night with my mom and sister ~ February 27, 2015 }

 

{ One of the few quilts I made this year.... lighter, brighter & uplifting ~ Tranquility 2014 }

 

So, until next time.

Piece Out,

Terri
 

Comments

[SoozeM]

It sounds like you are right where you need to be! I always think that if you surround yourself in the things that are most important to you (like family) then the rest will follow.

[Debbie St.Germain]

Sometimes things in life change our direction, and as we get older, we realize what is really important.
Love the photos of your mom and I love your new quilt. I think you are already seeing the direction you will be heading in and it shows in your newest piece.

Debbie

[pat sloan]

big hugs Terri, your mom was amazing

[Lori Christianson]

Terri, Sending hugs across the miles. Life is never easy and our paths sometimes need to change. I am sure the next part of your journey will take shape when it is time. For now it sounds like you are doing what is needed for you and your family.

[Deb Bieberich]

Terri, I have always been a fan and have always been amazed at the pace at which you lived. I can't believe it has been 18 years! I know that your faith will help guide you and the decisions you make. I pray for the peace which passes "all understanding" to touch and guide you and your family as you continue this crazy road of life.
Blessings!
deb bieberich

[Mary Jean Price]

I am a strong believer that life is a journey and we take different paths at different times as life's demands require. I am sure you will find the direction that is best for you and I am sure that your Mom will still be with you every step of the way.Peace be with you at this difficult time.

[[email protected]]

Oh Terri Im so sorry to hear about your mom passing, my sister Geri and I first met her at the Indiana State guild show in the 1990's, she and her friend had the best lecture we attended, we were blown away by the wonderful quilts we saw, that Whimsical look to them. We even asked them for their autographs! Im glad you were able to be there for your mom, you guys were awesome together, and glad you were able to spend time with your family. Best wishes to you. Moe Baly from Illinois

[Kay Harmon]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. Mine passed away 2 years ago from lymphoma. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. Everyone says it gets easier with the passage of time. I suppose in a way it's easier -- I don't burst into tears every time I think of her -- but the feeling of loss is as strong today as it was two years ago.

I'm glad you have landed where you need to be. Every time I help Lynette in her market booth I think of you as I look at the watering can and fence. Good times.

[Patricia - Sanabria Friederich]

I don't have words to say . I wish I can say something to help you . We will never forget our love ones but we learn to live with out them and manage the pain.
My heart and prayers are with you and your family .

[Terry Atkinson]

Teri it's so hard to move forward without someone who was such a huge part of your life! Take it a day at a time and let your heart lead you.

[Teri Back Door]

You are in my prayers and in my heart.

[Brenda]

Oh Terri, I'm so sorry for your loss. I am sending you prayers and lots of love. I know you will find your way. XXO

[Colleen]

I am so sorry about your Mom. My mom passed nearly 3 years ago. It is difficult, but you will work your way through it as you had a wonderful relationship. It helps so much to look back and know you were loved, and you loved her, and I am sure she knew that! Quilting will be there when you are ready and when you feel like it.

My daughter and I are huge fans of your work, and we appreciate all you and your Mom did for the quilting world :o)

[Carol]

Life is not for the faint of heart. Priorities do change and your changes sound positive and right for you - that's all any of us can do. My husband and I are retired and were living a somewhat boring life (according to my children, not me) until about December. Now we are looking at custody for our 4 month grandson - perhaps for life - who has been removed from my son's insignificant other's care. Life is certainly not boring for us and like you, our priorities have changed drastically. However, I need to make more time for quilting - it has always been my salvation and creative outlet.

[Cinda]

So sorry for the loss of your mother. There is no set time for grief, it's different for everyone. Glad you able to make the choices you needed to make about work versus family. You have wonderful memories of your mother that can never be taken away. Follow your heart. May peace be with you.

[Joan Stanley]

Hi Terri. This is a beautiful Writing and Story that sings with "Courage and Love of Family...
Putting Life in Perspective! It says to all of us, "We're not alone in our difficult and painful times!
And Love of Family....After all is said and done ...it's all about Family and Friends! Thanks Terrii for sharing you're Heart Felt Feelings.... It "builds a road to courage" for countless others! Sorry for the Loss of your beautiful Mom!
I'll be praying for all that you and your Family is going through! May the Peace that Surpasses all Understanding,
Guard your Heart always!

[Leeanne]

Lovely post, live is a rollercoaster that is always changing. I am sure all will settle and you will find peace. Best wishes from Leeanne in New Zealand.

[Melissa Lussier]

I know I've written this to you before, but you and your Mom are the reason I started quilting. The first Whimiscals books and patterns got me hooked!! I had the pleasure of meeting your Mom at a book signing years ago at Checkers Distributors. What a warm, sweet person!
I will send a prayer for you and your family that the good times and hours spent sewing and creating together will comfort you. You will NEVER have to regret that you didn't love each other, or spend enough time together because you have so much amazing work that was created together that lives on and means so much to a whole community of quilters.
As far as your future creative endeavors, it sounds like you have your priorities straight right now! Be gentle with yourself , keep enjoying your family, and the rest will come. You are a true artist and whatever you decided to make next, we'll be here ready to buy, sew, make it too- when you are ready!

[jill doemer]

Sorry to hear about Jackie. I was fortunate to have met Jackie in Arizona and remember in March of 2014 when your father and mother left Arizona because your mother was experiencing the first signs of the cancer.

[Gale]

I know the loss of a dear Mom and although it's been 8 years, she is still with me. The wonderful memories and the good times you shared will outlive the sad times of her illness. My sewing got me thought a rough time and continues to do so, as I now battle Ovarian cancer. Keep surrounding yourself with family and do a little sewing to help balance you out. Good luck with your future designing, when you are ready to get back at it.

[[email protected]]

I'm so sorry for your loss Terri.

[mariapatchwork]

I'm sorry to hear that, I love your fabric but I understand what are ugoingo through. My mum passed away 3 months ago after fighting against brast cancer for nine years, and although I'm still working my mind us somewhere else. Take care and we will be here when you definitely comeback

[Ginger]

So sorry for your loss. I know what it feels like. The sun will shine for you again. I just found your name/quilts/patterns/fabrics and love them all. I'll definitely be stitching up something from your collection.